A few weeks ago, the Hubby and some girlfriends and I went to the American Idols 2007 tour (sponsored by Pop Tarts). I had a free “vanilla chocolate splitz” pop tart as an after show meal. Yummer.
One of the girls is a member of the “early tickets getters” club, or something. Well, we got early tickets – about a month ahead of when they went on sale for everyone else. We got great seats! See…
Yeah – We were so far away that Sanjaya looked like a line drawing. But then, tall ballsy blonde friend noticed that there were closer seats that were un-sat-in. So, she and her brass-balls went marching down to them. She got stopped by security, but she told them it was stupid to let good seats go unsat, and they let her sit there! So, Hubby and I ran down after. These were the awesomest seats ever… 6th row!
This all happened during the first few songs: Let’s Get It Started (Haley, Chris S, Gina, Chris R, Phil, and Sanjaya); Medley: Stop In The Name of Love, Baby Love, Heard It Through the Grapevine, Proud Mary (Melinda, LaKisha).
Oh My God – Melinda and LaKisha looked awesome. Right out of Dreamgirls. No pictures, ’cause we were so far up that they issued us portable oxygen canisters.
Then, Nos-Phil-atu came onstage, and sang: Blaze of Glory – Bon Jovi. It was fine. He had on 3 inches of eyeliner, but it was good. I mean, boy can sing. He’s just cheesy-cheestasticly-cheesmafied.
Next, Chris Sligh and Gina (swoon! Seriously – she made me question my homo-ness. Girl was HOT) came out. Thanks For The Memories – (Chris S, Gina) and Haley Scarnato joined them to sing: When God Fearing Women Get the Blues (Martina McBride). She was good. She sounded fine. She dresses like a Ho, but she did just fine. …Ho.
This is the moment that the Hubster and I ran down to the rich-people seats. We sat in front of some smallish-youngish girls and their mother. I looked at them with sadness in my eyes, and plopped down in front of them. Whatever. They could have moved up at anytime. Early bird, and all that. I also realized that I could take pictures with Hub’s phone! Score!
Next, SANJAYA came up out of the floor, all skin tight red pants and hair. He was gross skinny. But, kid is a performer. Notice I didn’t say he is a singer. Here’s a picture of him rising out of the floor, not at all gayly. The Way You Make Me Feel (Michael Jackson).
Chris Sligh sang next – he is really talented. He’s got Little Orphan Annie hair, but he sings great, and he can play the heck out of the guitar. Typical (Mute Math).
Then, the floor opens up for LaKisha – she is dressed in a bustier and feather boa. She’s lost some weight, too. Her skin is flawless. The other hos strut their stuff, too. But not Melinda or Jordan. They’re too Jesus-y. Lady Marmalade (Patti LaBelle).
Chris Robinson and Jordan then sang: What Hurts The Most (Rascal Flatts). Chris R is swoonworthy, too. He’s got guns. Plus, he glances and smiles and flirts with Blake ALL THE TIME. Seriously. Boys are more than friends. Oh, yeah – They rocked on this song.
Then, MELINDA! joined Jordan on stage. This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) (Natalie Cole) They were all “we’re the bestest friends ever! Listen to us rock this song! Jesus’s love is everlasting, too! “Melinda said that even though Jordan is 17, and Melinda is NOT, they got along like peas in a pod. Then, she turned her not-neck and sang like crazy. I loves me some crazy Melinda.
Next was the Blake show. He sang:Time of the Season (The Zombies), She Will Be Loved (Maroon 5), and You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi). Blake was working the Grampa pants. Plus, I think he keeps his socks down the front of his pants, if’n you knows what I mean. Oogle.
Then, Intermission. We fought off the scavengers who smelled that we had not paid for these premium, near the top of Heaven seats. I ignored the pitiful looks from the small, terminally ill children that I sat in front of.
We’re back! Phil-ula came out, all saluting and filled with Velveeta, and sang America the Beautiful. The boys all play instruments (except Sanjaya), so they all came out and did the garage band thing. They played the guitar, or the piano. Except waste of stage-space Sanjaya, who played the TAMBORINE. Ew. Crazy (Gnarls Barkley), Hey Jude (The Beatles). Unfortunately, Chris R was horribly horribly flat during his solo on “Hey Jude”. Like – shocked face, cover your ears bad. Im pretty sure John Lennon was softly weeping.
Next, the glorious Gina came out, and sang Who Knew (Pink). She’s awesome. At one point she wore a dress that was completely open in the front, and little hotpants underneath. Here, she’s wearing that multiple chains thing. Eh.
Boyfriends Chris R and Blake next did a set: Ain’t no Sunshine (Bill Withers), Virtual Insanity (Jamiroquoi), and Geek in the Pink (Jason Mraz). They ran towards each other, they hugged, they ripped off their shirts and made out on the floor, they smiled and giggled like they were in love, they played a little slap-the-ass, they sounded awesome. Only one of those things was made up.
LaKisha sang I Will Always Love You. She was amazing. Poor Whitney. Remember when Lakeesh (that’s what her friends call her. Sounds like LaQuiche) was all kinda dismissive and bitchy on the show – like she couldn’t care less? Yeah, she was working the ‘tude last night, too. But Dayum. Girl sounded great.
Then, Chris R. (swoon!) sang This Love (Maroon 5). It was good. He was all happy about something (Blake).
It’s Your Love (Faith Hill/Tim McGraw) – Drac-u-Phil and Gina. Gina was good. Phil was ‘Meh’.
Chris R, Haley (Boo!) and Sanjaya (Double boo) next sang Life is a Highway (Tom Cochrane/Rascal Flatts). It was ok. Haley was wearing 11 inch stripper boots. Sanjaya kept flipping his hair around like he was an escaped mental patient. Chris was thinking happy thoughts about his boyfriend (name rhymes with cake).
My girl Melinda strutted her stuff to Natural Woman (Aretha Franklin). She is so so good. I love her. I’m afraid her album will be gospel, though. Not that I care, but I think it might keep people from buying it. She was working her little tiny butt. And she kept kicking in the air, like this: It was kinda silly looking, but kinda cool, too.
Now, all the girls (excepting Jordan, the diva) sang Ain’t No Other Man (Xtina Aguilera). It was nice. Haley wore a see through shirt. Real classy, Haley. Im sure the 8 years old girls loved it, and are taking mental notes of what to ask for during school shopping.
Now came the Jordan-is-the-American-Idol part of the show. She was good, but sounded a little hoarse. I Who Have Nothing (Shirley Bassey), Heartbreaker (Pat Benetar), You Were Meant For Me (Jewel), Broken Wing (Martina McBride). She killed on Broken Wing. It was magical.
Then, the End – Everyone came on and sang a few notes from their “hit”, then Jordan Sang that final song “This is My Now” – Kinda syrupy, but good. On the whole, it was a really good show! I would def recommend.