Woo hoo, witchy woman, see how high she flies…
My second favorite holiday is Halloween*. I love to dress up, and I love candy, and I love gothy things. If I were just a little more rebellious (and less happy) in high school I would have been the scary goth kid lurking in the shadows, shunning gym class and talking incessantly about Depeche Mode. While putting on another inch of deadly-nightshade eyeliner. And whining about how my life is like the “fetid stench of an open grave”. Oh, I’m so deep! Look at me! But don’t look at me! Angst!
Anyway, I love Halloween. And I love witches, which go hand in hand with Halloween. It just stands to reason (right?) that I would love witchy movies. And I do.
These are my favorite witch movies, and my favorite scenes in the movies. In no particular order…
The Witches of Eastwick
A group of single women discover that they are witches and work a spell to bring the perfect man into their lives. Except he turns out to be the devil, or something. I’m not sure what he’s actually supposed to be. He turns into this large bloby thing near the end. The women eventually force him out of their lives, and inherit a gorgeous mansion. Score!
My favorite scene is when the girls (Cher, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer) are playing tennis with Jack Nicholson, and they use their powers consciously for the first time (to fling the tennis ball around). Yay, spontaneous rainstorm!
Three witches return to life for one night and attempt to gain immortality by sucking the souls out of children.
Ok, yes. This is a silly Disney movie with a “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” talking cat. But, it has Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker flying around on broomsticks. Pretty good special effects, too. And Sarah and Kathy are FUNNY. And, Bette sings. What more do you require?
My favorite scene is when Kathy Najimy needs to find a broomstick to ride, but only finds an upright vacuum. She straddles it and says “Broom Ho!” Love it.
Two sister witches deal with the effects of bad love-life choices. Plus, they fight a zombie Goran Visnjic. He’s one hot dead guy.
My favorite scene is a small one, but it is when Sandra Bullock is stirring her coffee, and when she lets go of the spoon it continues to stir in the mug. It’s a small touch, but it works. Nicole Kidman is luminous in this movie. Seriously. You can practically see her skin glow.
A new girl joins three others to become “The bitches of Eastwick” in this high school revenge fantasy. Fairuza Balk is at her freakiest here.
I have many favorite parts in this movie, but the greatest is when Fairuza is flipping out on a school boy crush, and levitates across the floor, only the tips of her shoes touching the ground. She then pushes him out a window and he falls to his death. (That’s called defenestration. You’re welcome). Oh! And when the new girl and Fairuza have a magical duel, and the new girl kicks Fairuza’s buttocks. With her superior magicness. Woo!
There’s just something about watching these girls use their powers to right the wrongs in their lives. These powers that blossom at adolescence, usually. That mark them as different and strange. And make others feel weird around them.
Oh my god, they’re gay men.
*My first favorite is Arbor day, of course.