I made the Hub rewind it twice, and I laughed more each time…
On Wednesday night the angels sang and the clouds parted and I found the silver lining and the pot of gold and all that crap because, and you probably guessed this, Project Runway started again. The Hub and I love this show. All of our friends love this show. Where else can you get a talented reality show cast and mix them up with Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, and Nina Garcia. Love Nina. Love the bitchiness. Anywhoay, let’s take a look at the hundreds of designers that they have on the show this year. Seriously – it seemed like there were 40 of them.
This is Chris. I love him because he barely tried to run to get the fabric in the beginning (shades of Biggest Loser), and then he acted like he wanted all the crap fabric he was left with when the other grabby contestants were spent. That, and his elegantly arched eyebrow. And his leopard print shirt. So gay.
This is Christian. He’s my favorite. He’s a tiny, flock-of-seagulls-haired gay boi with great sewing skills and a wicked tongue. And terrible glasses. He says all the stuff that I want to say (and all the stuff that the Hub would and does say). I can’t decide if his hair is ugly or ‘avant garde’. Avant-ugly?
Please welcome Eliza “Dolittle”. I added the last name because I could have thrown together a dress with more skill than she did. The dress was a sheath with a metric ton of fabric spewing from the poor models butt. It pulled the dress in all the wrong ways and made the model trip on the runway. Heidi actually said the title of this post regarding this dress. I almost peed myself. I love you, Heidi Klum. You and Seal should come over for tea and biscuits.
Here are the rest. They really didn’t hit me with any kind of strong feelings, so they only get a few words…
Carmen. I’m pretty sure that she’s a man. Her voice is lower than mine.
Victorya – Asian girl. I’ve already forgotten her again.
Marion – Hat boy. He looks like he belongs in the cast of Oliver Twist. And, hey, Marion. It’s called the sun. Find a patch and sit in some.
Ricky – He’s 3 feet shorter than his model. And please stop wearing that hat. Ew.
Steven – Shy and quiet. I want to hug him.
Sweet P – Looks like a heavy Twiggy. Get back to America’s Next Top Model, Twig! Tyra’s gonna slap you…
Kit – Cyndi Lauper wannabe. Suitcase of memories. Time after time.
Kevin – Says that he’s “Straight”. Yeah, right. Nice manscaping on the beard, Straighty McLikesgirls.
Jillian – Shouldn’t she be dancing her way through her job as a welder, while dreaming of being a maniac on the floor?
Jack – He’s built. And the producers noticed. They lingered over a silhouette of him getting dressed, in his skivvies, man bumps all showing. I, of course, averted my eyes.
Simone – Can’t sew. Bye, Simone! I didn’t care to know you…
Rami – He won by ripping off a J Lo dress… See?
The show rocked. I am so in love with Tim Gunn (what?).
P.S. – This model looks just like Heather from ANTM. Come on, you know I’m right!