What did you call me?

“You are what you eat, from your head down to your feet”  – Time for Timer

The Hub and I are currently enjoying the BBC America channel. I don’t want you to think that we are becoming anglophiles, but it just seems that there is less artifice and more substance on BBC. More substance like poo, for instance.

“You Are What You Eat” is a show about overweight people who go on a diet for 8 weeks to improve their health, all the while watched bullied over by Gillian McKeith. Well, in America we call them overweight. On YAWYE they call them fatties. Once the announcer called a woman who was slimming down for her wedding day a “bulging bride”. And these women just smile a little and don’t comment. I’m not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing that in America the women would punch the host and stomp out the door.

Gillian is a holistic nutritionist. In an average show, she raids your pantry, throwing out all the chips and chocolate and chemically enhanced things. Then, she looks at your tongue to see if it has creases or tears or is discolored or covered in yellow mucus (ew). Apparently you can diagnose tons of things by the state of your tongue. Then, she peels back your eyelids to see if they are pink. (If they aren’t, you are iron deficient). Then, she makes you defecate and she ANALYZES YOUR POO. That’s what she calls it, “poo”.  Fully half the show is dedicated to statements about poo, like “Your poo is runny” or “Your poo is like rabbit pellets” or “See? Now your poo is solid! Huzzah!”.

She then marches you into another room, where all of the food that you have eaten in the previous week is displayed for your viewing pleasure. It is actually fairly gross. Once you get over your shock of how many “crisps” or “chockies” or “sammies” you have eaten, she shows you what you will be eating for the next 8 weeks. I have to say that although it is a pretty restrictive diet, it does look very appetizing. There are tons of leafy greens, and plenty of red and blue veggies and fruits. There is hardly ever any dairy or red meat.

The next segment is the “I hate Gillian and this is a hard diet” section of the show. The fattie is reduced to eating Miso soup for breakfast (breakie) and leafs for lunch and dinner, with beans and such. They complain and whine and grump. And then they lose weight.

The wonderful payoff to all this poo and fattie and crisp talk is that in 8 weeks these people are converts to the Gillian McKeith way of life. They have more energy, they are happier and full of life. They are vibrant. They laugh and skip and giggle. They have usually lost a couple stone of weight. And, the best part? The part that they always focus on, no matter which show? They have solid, less stinky poo. Yay, Poo!

You Are What You Eat

PS – A Stone is 14 pounds. You should see Hubby and I pausing the DVR to do the math in our head every time…

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