Chris2fer the Cable Guy

…about how I spend 17 minutes on the phone for no reason.

Last night I had to call the cable company because our cable was all wonky. We have a DVR, so we can pause live TV and record shows digitally and be hip and happening. It’s one of the best inventions ever, actually. Phone ringing? Pause the TV! Doorbell? Pause the TV! Gotta poo? Pause the TV!

However, now when we pause the TV and start it again after answering the phone, the door, or the call of nature, the picture is all pixilated. The Hub paused a heretofore unseen Will and Grace last night, and when we started it again, it was all blocky and hard to see. We watched the rest of the episode like we were trying to see scrambled porn on Cinemax back in the day. …Um, not that I did that.

So, I called the cable company. At 9:01pm. And they were there! Within less than  minute, I was talking to a real live person, a very nice tech guy named Ted*. Teddy the Techy. He logged onto my DVR, and reset it. It turned off, then on again, then off again, then on again. They it booted, and loaded, and waited, and loaded, and booted, and hummed, and groaned, and reset. He had me see if the pixilation was still happening. It was. He hemmed and hawed and said that we had “poor signal strength”. Sigh.

We have always had poor signal strength. When we had cable hooked up, it had poor strength. When we had the internet hooked to the cable, we were told it had poor signal strength. When we had the phone changed to digital (through the cable line) we had, once again, poor signal strength.

Its not like we live in a house spiderwebbed with cables, running every which way. We don’t have to climb through cables to get to the couch, like the guy in that Saw movie. We don’t live in Centerville, Maine (population 20). We live in the largest city in the state! And we only have one cable coming into the house. I feel like saying to Ted to just fix it, already.

But Teddy tells me that he cannot do anything, and he needs to set up a service visit. And which weekday can I be available? I ask at what time, and he tells me all day. He needs me to “please” be available for 10 hours. He can only set up “all day visits” at this time. I tell Teddy to forget it. I can live with the squinting. It will develop my imagination.

Lo and behold, it is working today. Hubby just emailed me the good news. I guess the cable fairy came over last night and fixed it. No home visits for you, Teddy!

*Not his real name.

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2 Responses to Chris2fer the Cable Guy

  1. M says:

    Maybe Teddy the Techy snuck into your house while you were sleeping and fixed it for you?????? We must have a weak signal too, but only for one channel….MTV….any show that I DVR on MTV….is all grainy when I watch it…..still I sit with remote in hand…eyes all squinted up to watch Real World/Road Rules Challenge-Gauntlet 3. I should just wait and watch it live one of the 300 times it’s on in a week, but I’m too busy with other shows.

  2. Sabrina says:

    I am convinced that “Poor Signal” or “Weak Signal” is just something they use when they can’t figure out what is wrong. I live in the 2nd largest city in our state and have been told on several occasions that I too have a “weak signal”. Whatever. When I had all my DVR issues last year the re-booting they did over the phone helped tremendously.

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