Pickle You, Kumquat!
1. I am easily influenced by television commercials. A big swell of music and a soft camera filter and I get teary. Or, you know – a freakin’ Pedigree commercial about a poor happy dog who is given to the shelter because his horrible, horrible parents got a different apartment that doesn’t allow dogs, I mean, come on, who does that… can send me into hysterics in about half a second.
But the reverse is true, too. I will always laugh at the appropriate times. I love a good person-falling-down sight gag. I love a quick one liner, tossed aside by the quirky cute girl. I love clever dialog. Even semi-clever. Here is my current favorite clever happy commercial.
A wife bursts into an office holding a box. She confronts her husband:
Wife: You son of a biscuit-eating bulldog.
Husband: What the French, toast?
Wife: Did you think I wouldn’t find out about your little doo-doo-head cootie-queen?
Mistress: Who are you calling a cootie-queen? You lint-licker!
Wife: Pickle you, kumquat!
Husband: You’re overreacting.
Wife: No, Bill, overreacting was when I put your convertible into a wood chipper, Stinky McStinkface!
Mistress: You Hoboken.
All three of them start fighting
Fabulous! New Orbit Raspberry Mint cleans another dirty mouth.
2. I like to think that I am crafty, but this? This is pretty amazing. The artist is Peter Callesen. Apparently he does all of his art from one sheet of paper that he then folds and glues into 3D shapes. Wow.
P.S. Another favorite thing? Finding out all the bad stuff that the American Idol kids have done in their past. Try to find Danny Noriega’s Christmas video – boy has a mouth on him, fer sure! He could use some Orbit gum.