…he has issues with sharing.
Why are toys that we played with as kids so awesome, and the toys now such crap? Kids these days! They wouldn’t know an imagination if it walked up and hit ’em in the face! Bah! Grumble grumble getoffmyyardyahooligan grumble.
When I was a kid I had some pretty great toys, and I know you’re simply dying to see a couple of my favorites:
1. Castle Greyskull. I used to hang this in the stairwell and activate the throne room trapdoor, and send He-Man plummeting miles to the ground. I was always Skeletor. I loved his outfit more, I think.
2. I had about 50 GI Joes. My favorites were Serpentor (He had a flying chariot!) and Stormshadow. He was a Cobra ninja. I think he just looked cool. My best friend Chris H. and I would stage epic battles all over the house and yard. I’m pretty sure that there are probably some GI Joes still posed in the lilac bush in my old backyard. Isn’t that a fitting metaphor for my life? GI Joes posed in the lilac bush. Ponder.
3. The Secaturs were creepy bug people who flew around on creepy giant bug things. I loved them. My favorite one (I don’t remember his name… General Insect-something-or-other and his flying mount blahbitty-bloo) had a creature that you put your hand into and wiggled your fingers around like they were it’s legs. Oh! And it had wings that went up and down. I loved it.
4. Armatron. My Grampy got this for me, I’m not sure where he picked it up. I was so excited! It was an electronic arm that you could use to… well… um… it actually didn’t do that much. The grip wasn’t strong enough to pick up anything very heavy. I usually used it while playing with the GI Joes. Argh! The giant claw has captured me! Help me Stormshadow! Argh!
5. Strawberry Shortcake. Shuddup – She smelled good. I never had my own, but I would happily (and guiltily) play along with my sister when she wanted to. Plus, I can still sing the song from the commercial – “Strawberry Shortcake, aint she looking swell? Cute little doll with the strawberry smell”. Whatever. It’s a talent.