It was a Culinary Cabaret!

Can you name the song I quote somewhere in this entry? 

On Friday night the Hub and Sabrina and Sister Kristin and I went to Mary and Rob’s house for “Mexican Fiesta Pot Luck Night Ole!”. Sister Kristin brought some 7 layer South of the Border dip, and Sabrina made little pastry cups filled with chicken and spices and goodness, and Mary made Chelepaaneo <said with an accent> corn muffins and I made chili.

I have fond memories of my mother’s chili – warm and not too spicy and a little sweet and thick. But, as I am a big boy now, I wanted to see if I could come up with my own recipe, all by myself (with the help of the internet and frequent calls to my mother). Here it is!

Chris2fer’s Chili

2 spoonfuls Oregano
2 shakes Paprika
2 large pinches Cumin
1/2 the container of  Chili Powder
1 tbsp Coriander (dont do it!)
2 scoops unsweetened Cocoa Powder
3 pounds Ground Beef
1 bottle Red Wine (you will only use a couple splashes for the cooking. The rest is to drink while cooking, duh)
6 Garlic Cloves, chopped
1 large Onion, chopped
Small can of Corn
Kosher Salt
3 (28 oz) can crushed Tomatoes
3 cans Hunt’s Tomato Paste
1 large can Kidney Beans, drained (or not, whatever)


1. Brown the beef in some wine in a large pan.
2. I found that I had to cook the onion and garlic in another, smaller pan cause 3 pounds of beef is ALOT.
3. Cook until onion is transparent and garlic is browned, it’ll take a little while.
4. Mix the garlic and onion into the beef.
5. Pour mixture into large crock pot, drain some grease if you want.
5. Add oregano, paprika, cumin, chili powder, coriander and cocoa.
6. Open can of corn, drain, add to crockpot.
8. Add the crushed and the paste tomatoes.
9. Add the beans.
10. Mix until combined.
11. Cook on low for 8 hours, until desired thickness is achieved.
12. Serve with Fritos, Monterey Jack Cheese, and sour cream.

This should be very thick chili. I like it real thick and juicy, so fine that you see double, Mixalot’s in trouble, beggin for a piece of that bubble…what? Yes – nice and thick. If you let it get too thick (think oatmeal that you left on the counter) you can add some more wine.

I deleted the reference to coriander because it was an overpowering taste to the rest of the chili (thanks for nothing, Tyler Florence). Also – you have to add the Fritos to the bottom of the bowl. It is imperative. My Aunt from Texas taught me this, and it is the only way to eat chili. You know, as well as with cheese and Fritos and sour cream. There’s barely room for chili in the bowl.

Enjoy the chili farts!

This entry was posted in My Life, Recipe. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to It was a Culinary Cabaret!

  1. M says:

    Your chili was delicious dear!!!!!! And there were no farts afterwards!!!!!!!!!!! Ole!

  2. Sister says:

    Baby got Back!

  3. Ron Hansen says:

    Be Our Guest (from Beauty and the Beast) “We’ll prepare with flair a culinary cabaret”

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