..which sometimes is not such a good thing, come to think of it.
Last night I irrigated my nasal passages. Yes, my life is full of amazing adventures and surprises and I know you are jealous but please try to let it go. I had read on Dooce.com (here) that you should use a “neti-pot” to cleans your nose in order to keep your sinuses clean and free of “debris”. Gross, right? You have no idea.
Well, as I was getting ready for bed I felt a little pressure behind my ears, which I usually feel before I get a cold. So, I decided to take my pint of Target brand nasal spray and, tilting my head perpendicular to the floor, started pouring saline solution into my head. The goal is to pour it in one nostril and for it to empty out the other. Well, apparently I have the most spacious sinuses in the world, cause I poured about a quarter cup of saline solution in before it started to empty out. And boy, it is a weird sensation to pour liquid through your face.
You know what else is a weird sensation? The fact that after I was done I had obviously done it wrong, or my body wasn’t used to it, or something, ’cause I had burned my soft pallet and the inside of my nose with the saline. It’s fun to then try to go to sleep when every breath burns like you are huffing campfire coals. Good times.
On the plus side I’m pretty sure that I killed the cold virus dead.
Two of my favorite shows have returned to TV recently – My Life on the D List, and Flipping Out.
Kathy Griffin makes me laugh like no other comic, and I’m sure it is because she is crass and loud and obnoxious, and that she rips into celebrities with abandon. And that she walks around in her underwear all the time. But seriously – I’m shocked that she is ever invited to anything. The truth is that she says what everybody else is thinking, but is too afraid to say. And it’s refreshing. It refreshes my soul. My dark, black little soul.
Flipping Out stars Jeff Lewis. He is a house flipper in Los Angeles. He buys crappy old house for a pittance (800k), renovates them, and sells them for twice as much (1.6m). (You know what? Flipping is fun to say. When you say it over and over your tongue starts to do weird things with the p’s. Like you start to say it with a German accent. …Just me? Ok.) I know that it seems like this is just another This Old House kinda show, but what makes this so special is that Jeff is mental-patient crazy. He is OCD to the point that I sometimes think that maybe he should be medicated a little bit.
Plus, he has all these people who work for him. Jenni, his “Executive Assistant”, who is seriously a little crazy herself, and Chris, her husband, who is Jeff’s houseboy. He cleans up dog poo and such. Then there’s Zoila, Jeff’s maid. She barely speaks English, but she is one of Jeff’s “closest friends”. “Oh, Zeff, You so crazy”. Then there are random people that he hires and fires throughout his day. It’s pretty awesome.
Oh, and PS to Jeff: Stop with the lip injections, Jeffanie Griffith.
OK, Hugs and kisses, friends! I’m off to snort some antibiotic numbing ointment, or something.