DUM. DUM. DUM. YOU WANNA BE ON TOP?
Why yes, thank you.
Last night Hub and I watched two hours of must see TV – America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway. Ah, fashion. I only care about you because of your neurosis, baby. Here are my thoughts on both shows, first ANTM, then ProjRun.
– We missed last week’s show, so we watched the “last week on” segment really carefully. Hold on now … is that girl a tranny?
– I’m not trying to be mean, but that little man in the gold lame hat is looking dire. Benny, right? Girl needs to eat a donut and stop trying to twist himself into weird shapes. Also, ps: stop with the makeup, it’s not doing your face any favors.
– She totally just walked up and said that she had to pee, and that they had better appreciate her for doing this. Oh, yes, we appreciate you. I guess we can blame her bad posing on her full bladder?
– All the girls of color just ganged up on that little white girl and called her a racist. Unless this is just some tricky editing, I just don’t see it. But good for her on just walking away. Crazy bitches.
– Posing on a ladder and trying not to look like a hooch while your dress is being blown around your head by the giant fan is a pretty hard job. I’m being serious. It takes skill to look pretty in a windstorm, while swinging on a ladder, while also being yelled at my an albino gay man on the ground. Yes, I’m looking at you, Jay.
– Thank God the talky talky girl got booted. She’s not even that pretty. Plus – that pink lipstick? Gross.
– All the designers came back, including my husband-approved boyfriend Keith. Hi Keith! Hugs!
– Wesley in pants is much hotter than Wesley in shorts. Plus, you know they asked him back in order to film him with his shirt off. Which they did.
– Ha! Donna Summer and Keith are partners, and they hate each other. God, she’s a <bad bad swear word redacted> to him. Poor Keith.
– Making dresses based on astrological signs is a good idea. At least it’s not “make a dress for a celebrity designer to maybe sell at Saks” again.
– I kind of Like Donna Summer’s lion furry collar. I think she would have gone further with it.
– Keith just gave up and went to sleep. I heart Keith.
– Hee! Tim went to wake up Keith and Tim’s obvious prissiness came through as he was waking him – Tim stood as far from him as he could and tapped him with the flat of his hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Keith? Keith? We are starting. Keith? Time to wake up. Keith?” he whispered so quietly that only dogs could hear it. It’s actually kind of sweet. He didn’t want to startle him.
– I think the Scorpion dress looks like a mess. Why does everyone like it?
– Thank you, thank you, thank you Michael Kors for saying what has needed to be said. Suede is indeed full of himself and should stop referring to himself in the third person.
– A repeat of the now famous “Pooing Fabric” comment? Really?
– Bye Blayne-licious! Bye Donna Summer.
And now, some of the dresses…
Blayne’s take on Libra. Yes, it’s gross. It just looks stupid.
The Scorpio dress. Um…ok?
Kenley’s dress, which everyone hated, but I like alot. I’m glad she squeaked through…
The Winning Dress By Jerell. Ho-Hum. Nice hip-flaps.