The District of Columbia

When you say it that way, it sounds like a cop drama on NBC. “Next, on the District of Columbia… Officer O’Malley breaks the oldest rule… you don’t snitch on other cops…” “You’re dead, O’Malley! DEAD!”

The Hubby and I decided to turn our trip to see the family into a mini-vacation by visiting DC and some old friends. And I took pictures!

hotel

This was our awesome hotel, the Donovan House. We liked the cool leather faux canopy thingy over the bed, but realized that in 10 years it will be passe and uncool. Also, Capt Kirk’s chair!

sea-shell

This was the shower in the room. Very Sea-Shelly. Just imagine, if you will, bending over to wash your feet, when your posterior hits the badly placed water controls and you are doused in center-of-the-sun hot or frigid-depths-of-space cold water. There was a lot of gasping in the shower. And not for a fun reason.

night-light

Another questionable design choice. When Hubby got up in the middle of the night to use the little boys room, he naturally switched on the bathroom light. Unfortunately, the bathroom only has one light. Which illuminated the shower. Which is in the center of the bedroom. GOOD MORNING! IT’S 2:00AM! WAKEY WAKEY!

annies

We ate here on our first night. It is in the center of the gay area of DC, Dupont Circle. It’s like a magical fairyland (hee) of wonders. As soon as you step into the circle, all you can see, as far as the eye can see, are gay folk. All the buildings are pretty and all the people are smiling and everyone is walking  little dogs that poop rose blossoms and Febreeze. The waiters here were the gayest, but in a campy, great way. Hello, boys!

lincoln-c

We saw “Peter Grimes” at the Kennedy Center. Which, as you can see, is built to intimidate. It was gorgeous.

lincoln-c-2

I kept thinking of the Kennedy Center Honors, and everyone who had been given those little rainbow medals. Specifically, I kept thinking of Barbra Streisand. And the fact that she just might have been walking where I was walking.  I know, I know.

lincoln-lights1

The lady usher nearest me, when asked if I could take a couple pictures prior to the performance, transformed from a saintly old woman into a harridan of despair as she screeched “NO PICTURES ALLOWED!”. So I took this one of the chandelier. Take that, witch. You have no power here. Be gone with you.

the-prez

During intermission this helicopter flew by outside the Kennedy Center. If you squint, you can see Barak Obama in the back seat. And if you really squint up your eyes wicked wicked tight, you can see that he is holding a sign that says “Hi Chris2fer!”. Yeah. We’re buds that way.

breaky

This is the Afterwords Cafe. We went here for Brunch one morning. The food was amazing and the service was great. Plus, it’s a little cafe in a bookstore. Squeal! I love this stuff.

cafe

This is the back room of the cafe. Look at all the cosmopolitan DCers chatting about important things and eating breakfast. Specifically, look how fit they all are. Everyone in DC is very fit. I think they issue you a free pass to 24 Hour Fitness when you move there.

elephantThis is the Museum of Natural History, and specifically, an elephant. Right now my mother is saying “I’ve seen one of those, live, right next to the car I was in”. Well, Ha, Mom. I’ve seen one dead and stuffed and posed in a foyer.

deep-seaThis is the best photo I got of the IMAX theater wherein we watched a movie about the Deep Sea. Have you ever? Wow. IMAX in 3D is amazing. I couldn’t get over the awesome visuals and the stellar 3D. I’m not chaining you – find one and see something. Also, this is the best photo I took of the Hope Diamond. Sucker is on a moving pedestal and all my photos came out blurry.

 skeleton

Also from the Natural History Museum. A teensy skeleton. It intrigued me, in a gothic, creepy way. I like the way it looks like he is giving you attitude, with his jaw all forward. “Yeah, I’m a skeleton. So what?”

kermie

This is from the Museum of American History. Yes, Kermit is a part of American History. Kermie! When I was a kid I totally thought his name was Kermit D. Frog.

rubyThe famous ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz. There were flocks of gays crowded around these, 2 or 3 deep. I think that’s what you call a grouping of gays – a flock. Or is it a murder? Anyway. Sequiney.

memorialThe Jefferson Memorial. Taken from the car, across the water, on a bridge. Next time, we actually visit!

washington-monThe Washington Memorial.  When you drive around town you can always see this, but it just looks unimpressive. It isn’t until you walk up to it that you realize that it is ENORMOUS. We tried to get tickets to go up in it, but they were sold out for months. MONTHS. That’s patriotism.

white-houseMy best friend’s house. He must have a gardener, or something. His lawn is immaculate. If you squint, you can just make out Michelle Obama waving to me from the residence. See? Right there. We hang out, sometimes.

cherryWhen I mentioned to people that I was going to DC for a visit everyone peed over the fact that it was going to be Cherry Blossom time, and that flowers would be blooming. Well, they were very pretty. But not so pretty that I wasn’t annoyed by the 4 billion people who were there for the Cherry Blossom Festival, which just happened to be the exact days that we were there. Who knew? PS – I love the hotpants biker who matches the blossoms. You know it was a conscious decision to wear them.

cherry2

Squirt!

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