A magical fantasy land for ladies, filled with boyfriends who struggle with their need to kill you…
Last night at Borders Sabrina and I were browsing around, ostensibly looking for a specific book for me (Luck In The Shadows by Lynn Flewelling) but really just going where our interest led us.
(Borders is strange – I have been in several, and they all smell the same. But not like books, you know? I mean, libraries always smell of books – papery and a little musty. But Borders smells of plastic wrap and mild distain. Anyway. )
Sabrina was looking for book 1 in the 4 book series MEG, about a giant shark and a child who play together at the aquarium (I’m guessing from the cover). After we bugged a kid working there who showed us where they were (the HORROR section?) Sabrina lost interest and kinda wandered off. And where did she end up? Ah – the Twilight section.
Yes, there is a large boxed off section. Seriously – they have set up several 10 foot tall shelves like a fort. A fort which hold all things Twilight and all things that want to be like Twilight. It is a haven for Twerds (Twilight Nerds (coined by Mary)). Sabrina, of course, started cooing and got a glazed look in her eyes and was drawn in. I took a deep breath and bravely entered.
Within, I was assaulted by the unauthorized autobiography of Robert Pattinson, the picture book of Robert Pattinson, the Twilight Companion book, the Twilight Compendium book, several bookmarks, posters, t-shirts, bags, balls, keychains, bangles, bracelets, and yes, they had the dolls. And one umbrella.
The umbrella was black (of course) and had a picture of Edward and Bella sitting in the forest, in a small glade. Oh, and one of them may have been glittering. (It was not the one with the vagina.) I kind of wanted to buy it, but it was 25 dollars, which is over my limit for impulse buys of irony.
PS – I couldn’t even make it through the first book, and I devour trashy fantasy novels by the fistful. All the women who read it lose their minds, though. Maybe there is some weird chemical in the ink, and when women touch it it gives them a mild sexual high, but it doesn’t work for guys. Ah ha! I have solved the Twilight conspiracy!