Furniture Drift

Like continental drift. Or that drifting they do in those car movies. Or snow drifts even, I guess.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who loves to move furniture around. When I was younger I would move my bedroom around ALL THE TIME. My parents sat downstairs every Sunday and listened to the bed being pushed across the floor and the dresser scraping its way from one wall to another and silently said to themselves “My, but my son likes to redecorate. My STRAIGHT son. Ha!.”  

Even when I got my first apartment I remember the thrill of moving furniture around. I mean, it was my place! I had no one to answer to! I could move the bed and the TV into the kitchen! Not that I did such a thing, of course. No. My sofa also never thrust out into the middle of the living room, bearing no relation to any other piece of furniture, blocking off the front door awkwardly. My bed never floated in the middle of the bedroom, not touching any wall, surrounded by maroon drapes. GAY.

However, I now own a home. And I find myself not having moved a piece of furniture in years. YEARS. What is the matter with me? Why is this happening? Am I losing my flair? Am I to be FLAIRLESS?

No. I resolve not. I am moving furniture. I have been given carte blanche (well, carte grise, at least) to do what ever I want to do to the back bedroom. There reside within three 6 foot bookcases filled with books, a day bed with trundle, and a closet filled with a TV and gaming systems. What? It is out-of-the-way and cozy. Don’t hate. You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.

I have decided, due to my intense Oprah-level love that I have for my iPad, to put all of my books into storage. What need have I for physical media? I have a Kindle app, and a Nook app, and an iBook app, and even a (useless) Borders app. Goodbye, 3 large and cheap bookshelves. (PS – Anyone want 3 awesome 15-year-old bookshelves? They still work! Free to you!)

I am moving the bed to the corner once occupied by the books. I am moving the TV and gaming systems out of the closet (insert clever gay joke here). I don’t play them anymore due to my iPad. I can game all I want with my easily downloadable game apps. Even Final Fantasy! Nostalgia! Gaming Fun!

And what, pray tell, will go into said now empty closet? Not clothing, surely. No – the TRUNDLE BED. Let that marinate for a second until it blows your mind. I am putting the other bed into the closet. And it will be AWESOME. A private sleeping area just for guests and friends. And maybe a nap or two for moi. Not for the claustrophobic.

I’m so excited. I am moving furniture around again. Next, maybe the bedroom. I’m thinking the bed can go against the windows. Who needs to get into that one closet? And then the living room! Bye bye, optimally positioned TV. I think we should have an “obstructed view” that can only be managed by various moveable mirrors and body contortions. And maybe the dining room could be repurposed into a Zen room!

The possibilities are endless!

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One Response to Furniture Drift

  1. You sir….are a GENIUS!

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